人都好总结，喜欢在一个时间段的结点感慨一番，然后定一个下一个时间段的目标。思想总是会在这些间隙喷涌爆发，我不知道我会坚持多久，不过能久则久。
2019-12-31（QQ空间版）
今年的年前瞎扯，就不用英语写了，不仅写起来麻烦，看起来也麻烦。
本来这种行为就是两年前一次随机的感慨，结果不小心在去年想起了这件事，然后又感慨了一番，今年，继承传统，继续如此。
其实没想到时间会过得这么快，好像面前的一切东西都被飞速地拉到自己面前，来不及看清，就要做出反应。
我在手机的日历上看到了一年前的自己留下的提醒，仿佛就像是在隔着时空进行对话。不过这个提醒尚且过早，就好像一年前的自己觉得现在的我理应成熟，对一切都做好了准备，但我辜负了他，我还没准备好，我永远都准备不好。
没有谁是准备好了的。
我们总是匆匆忙忙，随波逐流地做着一些其他人都会做的事情。但我想要不一样，我想做我喜欢的事情，却发现我喜欢的事情需要付出代价。
我从来不喜欢孤注一掷，我喜欢有万全的考虑，我喜欢有退路的选择，因为我不是什么幸运的人，我也不是什么特殊的人，我没有光环，我赌不起。
但我却越来越发现，我做的好多选择其实都没有退路，我其实是在逐渐把自己逼上绝路，到最后，其实我毫无选择，只能孤注一掷。
我渐渐明白了很多人为什么跳楼，他们心灵脆弱吗？当然脆弱，但同时，他们看不到未来有任何的希望，他们看不到眼前有任何的转机，他们能绝处逢生吗？我能绝处逢生吗？
我不知道，但我毫无选择。
但我后悔吗？我不后悔。
老师说得对，我所有的选择，都是我在当时所处的背景下，所能做出的最好的选择，我没有必要后悔。
我不后悔选择这条路，我不后悔遇到每一个人；至少我曾经成功过，至少曾经有人喜欢我。
我相信一切都是最好的安排，我相信所有的安排都有它的价值。
我不知道明年的自己会怎么样，但跳楼是绝对不会的。
毕竟还有好多好吃的没有吃过。
2019-12-31（朋友圈版）
今天的日期是最后一个以201打头的日期，过了今天，就开始是202打头的了。
本想说今天是21世纪十年代的最后一天，又突然想起来，其实，2000年并不是21世纪的第一年，2001年才是，2000年还算在20世纪里，是20世纪的最后一年。
所以说，其实2020年也算是21世纪的十年代，算最后一年。
嗯，没什么意义的思考。
不过就是很快。
人说，遥不可及的不是十年之后，而是昨天之前。十年总会过去的，昨天却永远不会归来。
大概只有在这种跨越式的时间点，才会引起人思考一些不可挽回的事情。
微博上有人问，今晚什么打算。
我愣了一下，今晚什么打算？今晚什么打算。
从来没奢求过今晚可以有什么打算。实际上有打算的人都在安排打算，剩下那些没打算的人在回复这条微博。
如果非要有什么打算，那就看个电影，写个作业？
这算啥打算，每天不都是这样么。
而且在可预见的未来里，无聊而崩溃的生活依旧是常态。
乞求变化，却从未准备好去迎接变化。 渴望成长，却从未有勇气去拥抱成长。
只是幸好，
今年不是最后一个冬天，
明年也不是最后一个夏天。
2018-12-31
Well, this is the last day of 2018. For the earth itself it is nothing special, just another day. For me, I’ve got stacks of work to do. Two weeks left after all. I didn’t mean to say anything, until I remembered last year on the same day I wrote some same thing for maybe some same reason. Actually I don’t care about festivals. I am not, excited about festivals. Sometimes even the Spring Festival. The Spring Festival is nothing but candy and fat for me. I don’t want to pretend that I am happy to meet those relatives while I am not. I don’t like the feeling that everyone fixes their eyes on me and expects I can be active and joyful while all I am thinking is what excuse I can use to get rid of them. Plus they smoke. Holiday is about relaxing. I like relaxing. Candy is good, too. But, humans are always emotional. And false. They pretend to be happy. They pretend to be deep. They type a pile of words for a trivial thing. And in the end you don’t know what they exactly want to say.
What? I am doing it right now? No! OK, delete this paragraph.
Then, where am I? Oh, emotional. One has to write something for the coming year while everyone around him is doing it. And setting down some nonsense words on the last day of a year seems fun. I am still me, I think. Happy New Year’s Day, anyway.
2017-12-31
One year ago, a cat wished me a Happy New Year and asked me to do the same to her. I refused, due to some of my mysterious personalities. A couple weeks ago, the same cat asked me whether I had a habit of doing year-end summary and my answer was definitely no. Recently, with the New Year’s Day drawing near, many friends in my Moments and Qzone have been enjoying publishing their selfies of 18-year old, for the coming year is 2018. Today, or the last day in 2017, I put my phone down and sighed, admitting that one is unable not to be influenced by the freaking trend. Indeed, it is a year to be remembered.
In the first half year, I was fighting with thousands of exams and graduated from high school through one of them. It’s a tough time, really. While in the second half year, I went to college and had a wholly new life. I am educated in a new way and learn in a new way. I come to a new city and know many new things. For the first time, “nostalgic” appears in my mind. Few people I can chat with. Few things we can talk about. A little bunny once suggested that I should have some selfies. Definitely I said no, due to some of my mysterious personalities.
However, something has changed, I think. Maybe I am still the person who don’t talk much in the public. Maybe I am still the person who always writes sad-ending novels. Maybe I am still an unknown person to most of my classmates. But the truth is, I still won’t take any selfie, and Happy New Year’s Day.